Help for extroverts - Surviving a night in alone.

Are you an extrovert? So many invites, too many social obligations?

Because you are an extrovert and love to be the life and soul of every party you always attend everything, even when you aren't invited! Because you just assume that your invite was lost in the post.

Why not give someone else a chance in the limelight by enjoying a night in at home alone... you can do it.

How to prepare for your night in alone – a special guide to help the struggling extrovert to cope.

1, Snacks – Make sure you are stocked up with plenty of tasty snacks because when the loneliness starts to set in eating snacks by the bucket load will help ease the pain.

2, Entertainment – Do a little research into which new films are out or a series you can binge-watch. You must keep your mind occupied to resist the urge of grabbing your jacket and going out, or worse still, calling up one of your many friends to bend their ear about how lonely and depressed you are.

3, Warmth and comfort – Remove all your trendy designer clothing, jewellery, make-up and hair extensions. It is time to don some comfy old sweat pants and fluffy socks, also get a cuddly blanket and plenty of cushions to snuggle with and comfort you on your night in alone.

4, Booze – It isn't really advisable to drink alone, but as an extrovert the thought of a whole evening in alone might see you reaching for the bottle. Try to resist the urge and instead have a nice cup of hot chocolate or a glass of milk. You really don't want to be more buzzed than you already are, so avoid coffee and other drinks that contain caffeine.

5, Bathroom breaks – As an anxious extrovert who cannot bear to spend any time alone, even when you go to the loo you have to have your phone with you, try giving the internet a miss altogether at this stressful time. You may live to regret the posts you make on social media about how lonely you are, how no one loves you and what a cruel world it is. These thoughts are brought on in the extrovert after spending more than a few hours alone and so you must resist the urge to take your phone, tablet or any other device that is connected to the internet with you when you take a bathroom break. I know it is hard, but it will save you a lot of embarrassment later.

6, Reading – It is a good idea to have some reading material ready in the bathroom before your evening alone, then your mind has something to focus on while alone in there. You must avoid the internet, so don't pretend to yourself that you are going to read an article on your tablet only to find yourself begging for attention or posting bathroom mirror selfies on social media.

7, Pamper – Extroverts can be so full on that they often forget to take the time to pamper themselves, instead, they busy themselves with poking their noses into all the latest gossip and everyone else's affairs. On your night in alone you can use this time wisely by taking a relaxing bath, yes I know you prefer to have a quick shower so you don't have time to sit and think deep or dark thoughts or contemplate anything all.. however, on this occasion at least try to stay in there for more than 5 minutes. Take a book with you, I know it is hard to read when your mind starts drifting off to wondering about what you are missing out on, but try to reassure yourself that your friends will help you catch up with any gossip.

8, Rocking – As the night wears on and you have run out of good things to watch or read, comfort yourself by rocking back and forth as your cradle yourself in a fetal position. It can be surprisingly therapeutic.

9, Bedtime – As the night finally starts to draw to an end and bedtime is approaching take a few moments to rejoice in your victory, you survived the whole evening in alone! Next time won't be so bad... and yes I know you are shaking your head right now and saying – “never again”.

The INTJ Female

 

She is talented, smart, yet introverted so enjoys hiding away
Her thoughts are far beyond the influence of mass media sway

 

She has a hatred of injustices and likes to play fair
But most are intimidated by her intense and scary stare

 

Although she doesn't cope very well in a crowd
What wonders go on inside her mind are bright and very loud

 

Often it can appear she is calm and has the patience of a saint
Just don't interrupt her unannounced or yours could be a sticky fate

 

All in all, she isn't too bad and could be your best friend
She is loyal, trustworthy and will stick by you until the very end

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Reasons Why People Don't Like You.

If you have ever asked yourself, "Why don't people like me?" then let me help you to understand some of the reasons that could be causing you problems.

I also offer some solutions which, if you are disturbed by your rejection, you might want to consider implementing.

1. You're more successful than them.

I am not talking being mega-rich because most people look up to and admire those people, I am talking about you being just a bit more successful than someone.

Why will this cause people to not like you?

It makes the other person feel inferior and not good enough, so they will choose to like and hang around with others who are in a similar economic situation as them.

This also goes for academia. If you have a higher level of academic qualifications than them, don't expect them to like you, having you around will just make them feel like a failure.

How to overcome this.

If you want these people to like you, you must be humble and play down your achievements.

2. You're a know it all.

As INTJs we spend a LOT of time researching and gaining new knowledge. We even manage to change our beliefs when we find evidence contrary to what we first thought could be true.

However, once we have done all the research and made a decision, we know clearly within our own mind that we have now found the truth of that matter and we move on to the next topic.

If someone later comes along and talks about a subject we have full knowledge of and have therefore come to a conclusion about it, we are not afraid to tell someone they are wrong about it and provide all the evidence as such. To which the other person, who has strong views to the contrary, does one of two things, they fight, and inevitably lose and end up hating you for it, or they take flight, as they don't want to accept the truth.

How to overcome this.

If you want people to like you, people who hold different views from your own, stop feeling the need to convince them they are wrong. It doesn't really matter what someone else believes anyway.

3. You don't bond with them.

I know, I know, small talk sucks and seems so pointless and irritating. However, talking about the weather and other random useless chit-chat is what starts the bonding process between two people.

Complaining about the rain or it being too hot, and you both agreeing and sympathising with each other is what starts two strangers bonding. If you skip this part and jump straight into something technical on first meeting someone they will see you as cold and unapproachable. I get that you are just being efficient when you go to a work colleague and ask them for xyz, rather than asking how they are and complaining about the weather before getting to the point, but other more emotion-based beings will just think you are an arrogant jerk.

You are probably the hardest worker in the company, but even your boss hates you. This is why - you don't take time to bond with people.

How to overcome this.

When you need something from someone at work, or anywhere really, remember to do a little bit of general small talk first, make the other person feel at ease and happy to be dealing with you.

Something to remember.

INTJs are intimidating to mere mortals, INTJ females are doubly so! If you remember that people are often scared of you and feel inferior to you, you will remember to be a little bit kinder to them.